The Whited News

I was just about to click shut-down on the computer and saunter off to bed when for some reason I decided to put down a few thoughts that will probably end up on TWN.

Being a parent. There is just nothing like it. Being a parent has caused me to have this urge to speak endlessly with people who will be expecting their first child in a few months. I don’t know why. Someone that I work with shared with me that her and her husband very recently discovered that they will be having their first baby. I had just showed her a montage I put together on Jackson and Carson with the background music, “Godspeed, Sweet Dreams” by the Dixie Chicks. She was so touched by the piece that she closed my office door and shared this news with me, and then mentioned that she had only shared this information with one other person in the office because it was so early still. I then had this urge that I jut mentioned, to talk to her for hours about becoming a parent and how my life is forever changed. To give her some kind of insight into how incredibly difficult it is and indescribably happy it makes me, both experiences usually within a matter of moments – and several times a day. It is the hugest emotional roller coaster ride for me. Before Jackson was born, I knew it would be a challenge, of course. But nothing can prepare you for the experience.

Now that we have had two kids now for more than 14 months, it gives me even more perspective. Has anyone ever noticed that life just seems to gradually get more and more difficult? At least this is the way it seems for me at this juncture of my life. Or maybe I just forgot about the stressors of being 15, 19, then 24….geez, what the hell was so hard about those times? Relative to now? I’m sure it was stressful at the time….but obviously I lacked the perspective then that I have now.

You know, I would have it no other way right now. I love my two boys more than I can describe accurately. Kim and I were blessed with having our children at times we were planning to. God literally gave us these awesome gifts right when we asked for them. Both of them. I was fortunate enough to find my soul-mate relatively early in life, while others have spent much of their adult life searching for someone to love the way I do Kim. I have been blessed with the opportunity to work in the field that I have chosen, and advance at times when it seemed like the natural thing to happen. So many things have fallen into place and I literally have nothing to complain about. But am I complaining if I share with you how difficult it is to balance everything right now? I know this is a test from God – actually everyday is…God has extended me enough grace to deal with these endless challenges….but am I utilizing the grace that he has granted? I don’t think so, because I get so friggin overwhelmed! I’ll not bore you with the details. But I have actually read enough other blog postings from other parents who have similar daily challenges to help keep me at least feeling like I’m not going nuts and that it is harder than hell for them, too. At least Kim and I are not alone. I have been able to share stories and struggles with my buddies Todd and Jud, whom also have young children at home and are my age and at similar points of their lives.

The thing is, our society has evolved to the point where most families need to have both parents working. And when you have both working, especially both working full-time, and you have young children – you are in for it. Because it is damn near impossible to balance everything. You have to prioritize, I know. God do I know! But there are still plenty of things that are very important that are getting put on the back burner everyday because you run out of either time or energy. And it makes you look irresponsible to people who either do not have kids or who had kids in a different era when things were drastically different than right now. I have gotten to the point where I hate hearing a 25 year old person at work with no kids or spouse talking about how stressed out they are because they can’t get their car in for an oil change, or because their roommate is messy. Or maybe they feel that they are on the verge of a nervous breakdown because they have to work this weekend and they were really hoping to go out partying. Man. That’s tough. How do they deal with these crisises? Or I hate to hear them say they are “busy”. I know, it’s all relative….but I’m sorry, they are not busy. Get yourself a full-time job, a spouse with a full-time job, and have yourself a 4-year-old and a 1-year-old. Then tell me if you still think you were busy before.

One other little observation I want to share....I have noticed that people who have small children often feel like when they go to work they can finally relax a little, not because they are slackers, that is not usually the case at all. But because compared to being at home, working is much, much easier!!!! Then on the other hand you have the single people with no kids talking about how much work streeses them out! It's the damndest thing, huh? I think this is a good example of the essence of what I am trying to convey right now.

Thanks for reading my dribble…..I feel a little better. Even though I know there is someone out there reading this with 4 young children right now, and that person is saying to him/herself, “This guy thinks HE is busy?”. It’s all relative, so I need to chill out and go to bed.